Thoughts on Contentment....from a humble heart.

Anyone who knows our family knows that Dave's hours at work have been cut back recently. So we have lost 20% of our already tight budget! Dave has been doing work for my sis and her husband which we are SO grateful for, beyond belief. It has been such a blessing.

When my first little boy was born (11 YEARS AGO, GET OUT!) I remember thinking to myself, "How are we going to do this?" I was quitting my job and we were going to have to survive on Dave's then very meager salary. On paper, it just didn't make sense. We were going to come up short by hundreds of dollars each month. But we knew God's desire for me was to stay at home. And you know what, He blessed that. He has always been faithful. It has been hard and I have had to learn over the years to say "no" to a lot of opportunities and other things.

Over the years, it got a little easier, as Dave's pay steadily increased. Our budget strings got a little looser. Yet, with the economy going down the drain, rising gas and food costs, and three boys that are getting bigger and hungrier by the day, the strings were tightening again. And yes, there were some foolish choices along the way, as well (like the huge RV in our driveway that we can never use now because we can't afford it)! But that's another story.

I am battling with my flesh these days. And it is a constant battle practically every moment. "Sign up your kids for this activity", "go camping", "buy a new bedskirt because yours is ripped", the temptations go on and on. And I begin to see self pity creep in. "How sad that you can't have those things. How sad. You deserve them." You deserve them? That's another story, as well.

Then my redeemed self steps in. "Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food or clothing, we will be content with that." The words of God telling me I already have everything I need. Teaching me to find my sufficiency, comfort, peace, and joy in Him and in my salvation. Not to mention the fact that the Scriptures teach that I deserve none of it.

The flesh steps in again. "But those things bring you comfort and joy in this life."

The Spirit says, "But not lasting joy. You buy, you experience, and then you long for more which ultimately do not satisfy. I am your true joy. The joy that will last into eternity. What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul?" God is telling me I could gain everything the world has to offer, but what good would it do me if I didn't have salvation and the forgiveness of my sins? I would have gained the whole world and forfeited my soul for all eternity.

I know these truths. I know them in my heart. Even deep in my heart. But it is a battle to obey and put them into practice. To choose to be content. I have a choice. I can wallow in self pity, complain, be discontent and unhappy. Or I can be thankful for the multitude of blessings I have that I don't deserve. And I can remember that God uses trials to teach us and strengthen His children. So I can look for what I need to learn. I would never learn contentment if not given the opportunity to learn it. I would never learn ultimate sufficiency in God if never forced to do so. But I am weak, and I trust God will allow this trial until I have victory in it through Him. And until He recieves the glory He deserves in everything.